This marks the second day of my fast from my favourite addictive black beverage-coffee.
Yesterday was quite unbearable. I think that psychologically I was dependant in that everytime I slept late, I would think that my body needs the coffee to function. Then I'll have my prophylactic dose, even though I am not sure if I am sleepy yet.
Praise God, today is so refreshing without the black fluid. No doubt I yawned a couple of times, I just feel this fresh alertness that is unlike that which is created by coffee- the "fake alertness". I think tiredness has a lot to do with mind over matter as well. If one says he/she is tired and did not sleep enough, the body will feel that way too.
Today's 40-day fast prayer guide really spoke to me.
It was about idolising popularity, image, feedback on oneself, feeling good about one's acheivements... Yea, I confess I am quite a sucker for such things. Well, positive reinforcements from others is a good thing. But when it comes to a point when you become addicted to it (like I am addicted to coffee), creating a false sense of well-being whenever one gets it, well, it is ADDICTION i.e. non-reliance on God.
This is today's prayer:
Lord, I've been such a fool. I have chased after man's praise. I have forgotten that the most important thing is what You think about me! So much impure intentions have seeped into my public life. I have not been real, transparent, or accountable. In my quest to appear more spiritual than I really am, I have become fake, inconsistent and dishonest. Today, I shatter this image in Your name. I leave my personal reputation at the foot of the cross. I will gladly be a fool for Christ. I rather choose to be a humble, hungry doorkeeper in Your courts, than to be a shallow and superficial world-acclaimed superstar. Have mercy on me. I want to glorify Your name! Amen.
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